Hot Slut Of The Day!

Get the Full StorySometimes to earn the illustrious honor of Hot Slut of the Day, you have to have crazy amounts of natural born talent running through your veins see: Pianist Cat . Or you have to be an important artifact from the past that people would suck a filthy dick for just to get their hands on again see: Fruit Float . Or you just have to be retina-burning gorgeous see: Mark Kanemura . Or in this case, you just have to take my mind into the gutter where it’ll do the backstroke wink wink while thinking of Jon Hamm’s Hammaconda.

UPI says this video was shot this week and comes from Manaus, Amazonas in Brazil. It stars an almost 12-foot long anaconda stopping traffic and paralyzing bitches the same way the Hammaconda would if Jon Hamm whipped it out in the middle of the street. Only if Jon Hamm whipped his Hammaconda out in the middle of the street, not only would people be paralyzed, but a few women would get pregnant, more women would run to the ER with broken cervixes and prostates would explode.

Apparently, the road goes through a jungle-ey era in the city where lots of wild animals mix with the humans. Cars had to stop and people watched as the anaconda slowly slithered across the road while not giving even one tenth of a fuck that it’s keeping people from doing what they gotta do. This anaconda should get a job at the DMV because it’s a master at keeping people waiting.

The video ends on a cliffhanger! We never find out if the anaconda made it across. Either it continued to take its sweet time and everyone lost their jobs from being late to work, or it just laid there and expected the people to do the work by moving it. Typical big snake, knows it’s big and girthy and makes you do all the work.

Pic: YouTube

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