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Get the Full StoryKeebler Tato Skins!

Like the MASH game and the bra helmets from Weird Science, I thought that Keebler Tato Skins have been stamped with the HSOTD jizz-covered aluminum foil seal of approval before. Seriously, my 8-year-old self is slapping, spitting and elbowing my current self in the face for never giving the MASH game the glory it deserves! Keebler usually churns out sweet shit that has the power to awaken the Diabetes Monster in all of us, but sometimes they branch out into savory crap. Case in point: their Tato Skins Chips!

In 1986, Keebler’s tiny slave laborers risked getting early onset arthritis by handling giant potato peelers to make Tato Skins Chips. Keebler Tato Skins were baked potato chips with the skin still on. They remind me of when a certain adult in my life who may or may not have been my mom wanted me to stay away from unhealthy fried salty potato chips and made homemade salt-less baked chips with the skin still on, and those chips may or may not have tasted like brand new wet cardboard that was dried in the sun. I say “brand new cardboard” because old cardboard would’ve had more flavor to it.

Keebler Tato Skins tasted slightly better than those unsalted homemade baked potato skins, and that’s mostly because they were covered in flavoring like barbecue, cheddar and bacon, or sour cream and onion.

Keebler doesn’t make Tato Skins anymore, but other brands, like T.G.I. Friday’s, still sell potato skins chips. But if you still can’t find them and still want them, I can ask that certain adult in my life to whip up their signature baked potato skins chips for you, just make sure you bring along two pounds of salt, five pounds of Lowry’s and eight pounds of cheddar-flavored seasoning. And now, the next time I have dinner at that certain adult in my life’s house, they’re going to serve me their signature baked potato skins chips covered with litter box cat shit and say, “Is that enough flavor for you, pendejo?”

Pic: Pinterest

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