8 warning signs of unhappy employees emotionally intelligent leaders act on

Get the Full StorySteve Debenport Getty Images

Your employees may be giving you signs that say how they feel about work. Emotionally intelligent leaders should always be looking out for these signs.

If employees are on the fringes of happy hour, or seem a little distracted, it's worth checking in with them.

Sometimes employees that are acting out need extra challenges, or are frustrated by their stagnancy.

Visit Business Insider's homepage for more stories.

As a leader forever interested in bolstering my EQ, I've long kept a quote from cosmetics titan Mary Kay in mind: "Everybody has a sign around their neck that says, 'Make me feel important.'"

This inspires me to imagine invisible signs subconsciously hanging around employees' necks, projections of their beliefs or feelings or struggles at that time. The signs are there if you care enough to look for them. And doing so is the sign of a high-EQ leader. Such leaders are in tune enough with their organization that they can spot signs of an employee in need in multiple ways. What follows are eight subtle signs that your employees may be different nuances of unhappy, and what to do when you spot them.1. "I don't know if I'm good enough to make it here."

Getty Images

In conducting research for "Find the Fire," I found that a whopping 93 of employees polled said they'd taken a hit to their self-confidence at least temporarily because of something that had happened at work in the past six months. Relatedly, the number one thing I coached employees on over a 30-year corporate career was self-doubt about worthiness and competitiveness, i.e., their ability to stack up to peers and "cut it."

Do this to build their confidence back up:

Remind them to stop comparing themselves with others. The only comparison that matters is to who they were yesterday.

Help them accept they're not perfect.

Encourage them to strive for authenticity, not approval.

Get them focused on their potential, not their limitations.

2. "I don't feel like I fit in here."

Carlos Barria Reuters

Pay attention to employees at happy hours, gatherings after the meeting, at lunch. Those seeming isolated or alone might not feel like they're fitting in. Also pay attention to "office gossip" shutting it down when you hear it, by the way or listen for complaint trends about any one employee. It might be that the "targeted" employee isn't fitting in in the eyes of other employees.

Strong cultures can quickly make newcomers feel isolated. Go out of your way to make these people feel welcome and encourage fellow employees to do likewise.

3. "I blew it. I'm a failure."

praetorianphoto Getty Images

I'd spot this, for example, after a meeting where an employee didn't exactly nail it. The dejected nature, the sheepish look. If not addressed immediately, it can devolve into an utter loss of confidence.

I'd remind the individual of what I often say in this column, that there are really only three ways you can fail: when you quit, don't improve, or never try. Then we'd discuss what could have gone better, ending it with their tacit understanding that I had their back and would help them improve.

See the rest of the story at Business InsiderSee Also:Microsoft CEO Satya Nadella's 3-rule method for running effective meetings3 things to do before summer ends to get that fall promotionIn the 1980s, Bill Gates would escape to a secret cabin in the woods to protect himself from burnout. Here's the modern-day, easier version of his approach.SEE ALSO: The 10 worst productivity lies we tell ourselves, according to an expert who's worked with CEOs, doctors, athletes, kids, and a Supreme Court judge

Share: