Hot Slut Of The Day!
Get the Full StoryThe Big Wooden Dick of Bavaria!The Associated Press says that several years ago, a mysterious 7-foot-tall hard peen appeared on the Gr nten mountain in the state of Bavaria in Germany, and it made everyone say, Who knew that Jon Hamm s shooting a movie on the Gr nten mountain? The Hammaconda would pfft at that because it could eat up that sculpture as a little snack. And well, the 7-foot-tall hard peen of the Gruenten mountains isn t something you d want to ride unless you really want splinters stuck up in your sugar walls.
It obviously became the greatest monument in Europe, if not the world. But then a few weeks ago, the dick statute just couldn t stay upright anymore and fell down bitch got old and needed Viagara . Some of its fans erected that erection again, but then it disappeared completely. It may have gone somewhere private to get dick lengthening surgery, because yesterday, an even longer wooden dick statute appeared. Size queens rejoice!
Just when that whole mYSteRIOus mONoliTH in the Utah desert thing was getting boring Um it got boring in one second flat you , Germany showed us how it s really done. Below is an extremely important news report from The Guardian about the original wooden Tribute to Dicks disappearing a few days ago, and yes, the police are investigating:
And like I said above, it was replaced with a longer, but skinnier, wooden peen. Thankfully, the Gr nten mountain s got a woody again. In the header pic is the newest dick sculpture looking like it just busted a nut all over itself and its wooden balls. Who knows how long this newest piece of cut dick wonder will last before it gets replaced with a longer one, and then that one will get replaced with an even longer one, and so on until it s so long that we can climb that wooden dick out of this planet and into the universe. Strangely enough, I think I just described Scientology s plan to travel to their home planet.
But seriously, that thing is all dick, is the strong but silent type, and has a gorgeous place in Bavaria. I think I just found my dream man. Although, I m sure he d still find a way to ghost me.
Pic: AP
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