The Importance of Having a "Couch Friend"

Get the Full StoryThere's nothing better than having a couch friend. You know, the type of friend who you can be your full, authentic self with. They don't care about what you look like or if you have last night's mascara smeared on your face, and they definitely don't judge you for the leftover Taco Bell wrappers on your coffee table. Probably because they were there eating a Cheesy Gordita Crunch with you in the first place.

Couch friends are the type who simply let you exist in your natural state. You don't have to be "on" with them, and there are no expectations or added pressure when you hang out. Whether you want to have a little gossip sesh or sit in complete silence on your phones, they're down for whichever vibe.

In a world where it's increasingly more difficult to make friends as an adult, couch friends are the type of people you don't want to take for granted. "They offer an opportunity to recharge - both mentally and emotionally - by providing a space where you don't have to worry about performing or meeting expectations," psychotherapist Attiya Awadallah says. And as it turns out, having this kind of friendship in your life might actually be more important than you think.

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Attiya Awadallah is a psychotherapist and the owner of Lenora: Art Therapy and Counseling.

What Is a Couch Friend?

As you'd expect from its name, a couch friend is someone who you could quite literally lay on the couch and do nothing with. You don't have to look presentable when you're with them nor do you have to force conversation. If anything, your time spent with a couch friend should feel easy and natural, even without plans or an agenda.

"A couch friend is someone you can share space with in complete comfort, where there's no pressure to talk, entertain, or be 'on,'" Awadallah says. When you're with them, you don't have to spend your time talking or doing any specific activity: sitting on the couch with each other is simply enough.

From a mental health perspective, having a couch friend is great for you. "These friendships offer a safe space to just 'be,' which can be incredibly important for people managing anxiety or dealing with the pressures of daily life," Awadallah says.

Why Couch Friends Are So Important

According to Awadallah, spending time with your couch friend can signal to your body that it's safe to relax. "Couch friends help activate the 'rest and digest' response in our nervous system, which directly counters the fight-or-flight response triggered by stress," she explains. This means that when you're around this person, you can recharge and lower your stress levels.

On an even deeper level though, couch friends can help you feel more secure and grounded in a world that often prioritizes productivity and constant interaction. Regardless of whether or not you identify as an introvert, most people need time to recharge and bed rot when they feel overwhelmed from work, school, or other stressful situations. But rotting with a couch friend, on the other hand, can help you feel less alone.

Unfortunately, not all of your friends will be couch friends - and that's OK. Some friends are better for big-group outings, while others will feel more comfortable with low-key hangs. To gauge which of your friends could be a couch friend, Awadallah recommends asking one to just come hang out. You could say something like, "I just want to relax today. Want to come hang out over here?" If they're down, you may have found yourself a couch friend. But don't feel like you have to force it.

The thing about couch friends is that it should feel easy. After all, couch friends are a reminder that "human connection isn't just about talking or doing - it's also about creating space to rest and feel understood without words," Awadallah says. Though it may take time to find these unique friendships, they're out there . . . whenever they're not on the couch, that is.

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Taylor Andrews is a balance editor at PS who specializes in topics relating to sex, relationships, dating, sexual health, mental health, and more.

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