Why Taylor From "Love Is Blind" Didn't Mention Her Ethnicity in the Pods

Get the Full StoryIf you're caught up on season 7 of "Love Is Blind," we're all likely rooting for one couple to make it to the altar: Taylor Krause and Garrett Josemans. In a sea of reality TV contestants who seem to only crave more screen time, these two are refreshingly genuine and, frankly, normal. Fans have been rooting for their love story since day one and have an inkling the couple is still together to this day - attributing Josemans's recent glow-up to a year of marriage with Krause. But their journey wasn't without its hurdles.

Their first conflict came to a head in the pods, when Krause, who's half-Chinese and half-white, said she wanted to withhold sharing her ethnicity prior to their reveal. In response, Garrett said he felt she was "calculated" for holding back that information. For Krause, her past dating experiences - like dealing with hapa misnomers and uncomfortable assumptions about Asian women - led to her decision to avoid revealing her ethnicity.

"I wanted to take it out of the equation and it's called 'Love is Blind,' so that's kind of part of the assignment anyway," she tells PS. "And so for me, it was just a really great opportunity to have it not be a part of it at all." The two moved forward after that conversation and since then, have discussed what it looks like for a white man to date a woman of color.

Ahead of the season finale, we chatted with Krause about how her identity informed her approach to dating on "Love Is Blind," becoming this season's fan-favorite, and any regrets she has from the show.

PS: How did your past dating experiences as an Asian woman impact how you wanted to date on the show?

TK: I guess I was not super intentional about it. It's just a part of who you are, but it is a variable in dating. For me, it was nothing super particular that was like, "I have this one particular fetish," but saying, "Oh, I'm really into Asian chicks" or "You're so exotic looking" or they have a thing for Hapas or half-Asian girls. I think it's never anything really malicious, but there's some assumptions you can make about half Asian women, there's hapa misnomers out there and Asian women in general. Especially Asian women tend to be fetishized.

I thought about it because I didn't want people, other Asian people, to think that I'm ashamed or didn't want that to be part of my story.

PS: In the pods, you were adamant about not revealing your ethnicity. Did you make that decision prior to filming?

TK: I didn't want other Asian people to think that I'm ashamed or didn't want that to be part of my story. It's not to say that I'm not proud of being Asian and that there's not other things that come with having that culture, but I knew that I would have the opportunity once they saw me - after we get engaged, if that ended up happening - to have my identity be a part of it. I just didn't want to share that and then that person would be inclined to think that I look a certain way or maybe they aren't into Asian people. And then that also defeats the experiment.

So I thought about it, but I didn't think, "Oh, I'm going to keep this big secret." I just took it out of the equation. My mom is a huge part of my life and all of my friends call her by her first name. If you hear "Fong," you're going to know, you're going to make an educated guess what I might look like.

PS: When you mentioned wanting to keep your ethnicity to yourself, Garrett responded by saying you seemed calculated. You seemed really taken aback by that comment. Were viewers seeing the full conversation there? What were you thinking at the time?

TK: It was unfortunate that the confluence of different factors made this one incident happen. I'm a very careful person. I'm very thoughtful and I was pretty uncomfortable just being on camera all the time to go on dates and going farther than I thought it ever freaking would. I'm thinking about every word that I want to say. I think that came across to Garrett in his first couple of dates with me because other dates that he was going on, everyone was very willy-nilly and probably more outgoing than I was.

I recall him saying, "You seem very guarded," and that hurt. I think he just picked a bad word when he said "calculated." You're starting to get really vulnerable with these people. And when you get anything that feels a little bit negative and you're in this hyper-emotional state, it felt like a punch in the gut because I really was falling for this guy and I was worried that I wasn't being vulnerable enough to get us there. I think it was all of those things at once.

You don't really see us talking about ethnicity in any other conversation, but we had talked about not sharing our ethnicity up to that point. So when I was like, "Oh, but my mom's name," I could see how he could be a little bit like, "Oh, that's kind of calculated of you to hold that back." But that was just me being the person I am and I always kind of have a filter of what I'm thinking about.

PS: He also mentioned he had only dated white women before. Have you had conversations with him since then about dating a woman of color?

TK: Because he's only dated white women and he himself is a white male, with that comes a lot of privilege. So it was important for me to know that he understood that and he completely wholeheartedly agreed. Being a woman of color, especially an Asian woman, with that comes different lived experiences. And him being open to understanding that more, rather than telling me how to feel - which is how I've had in previous relationships - or that I'm overreacting or that this is something that's not a big deal, that was important. It was important to me that whoever my future partner was would always validate my feelings and understand that we just are two different people with two different life experiences and there's different ways that it impacts the person and that's up to the individual.

He completely empathized with that. I felt like when we were dating, there was always a positive understanding of that. There's never been a real instance; it's been an impetus for a deeper conversation during the show.

PS: I'm sure you're aware you've become a fan-favorite this season, and people are really rooting for you and Garrett. Are you surprised at all that viewers are responding this way?

TK: I'm absolutely flabbergasted, to be perfectly honest. I don't watch a ton of reality television, but when you do, you think the ones that are making the most drama and having the biggest issues that can be captured are the ones that are going to be fan-favorites. I always went into the show being like, this is something interesting, something fun. I was like, OK, maybe we're middle of the pack because our story is just so not messy. So to get so much positive feedback on showing up as myself and being honest and I think normal, I've been shocked. I can't describe it enough other than just shock.

PS: In last week's drop of episodes, we saw you and Garrett arguing about him responding to a text from his ex. What was it like to watch those scenes back?

TK: To be completely honest, watching those back is difficult because you already don't like listening to your voice recorded, let alone being in a Halloween costume crying on camera. That night, I was so livid that I couldn't really remember exactly what I said. That was me probably in my most angry form and I'm glad it's actually not that bad. In my head, I thought it was going to be way worse. But I think it was a testament to how you can create boundaries with your partner, be clear about processing former relationship trauma with your partner, and that's on yourself to be communicative about that. And if your partner can be reassuring and work through it, that's something that I was really proud of for us.

I stand by my opinion, but I don't love the way that I handled it. We should have just gone home. I think when I was upset and you're in the moment of, you're excited for this big party and you're around all of the girls that we would talk about everything, there's only a handful of people in the world that could process these things with you. We maybe should have just called it a night. But in terms of what I said, I do think that I was honest and fair about everything that I had to say. I never called him a name, never got aggressive.

He just needed to learn. In the moment, you're like, there's a lot of guys where this is not a great look and you just met them after a couple of weeks. But you can tell that Garrett is a really genuine, good guy that is still a boy at the end of the day. All parties ended up OK afterward.

PS: Do you have any regrets at all from your time on the show?

TK: I have some regrets about my hair and stuff where I'm like, what was I doing? Someone give me a bobby pin. But in terms of anything that I did or said, I think I always was really honest in myself and I'm glad that that came through the screen. I have a lot of friends that are saying, "It feels like it's just hanging out with you. This is super weird." I don't regret anything. I really enjoyed the time and it's pushed me really hard to grow as a person and see what's needed to be a lifelong partner. So even the bad things, I don't regret them because they've made me grow.

PS: I have to ask: have you ever been responsible for the glow-up of a man you were in a relationship with?

TK: Not to my knowledge, but maybe I should go see if there's any guys out there that I used to date.

Related:

Everything to Know About the Engagement Rings on "Love Is Blind"

Yerin Kim is the features editor at POPSUGAR, where she helps shape the vision for special features and packages across the network. A graduate of Syracuse University's Newhouse School, she has over five years of experience in the pop culture and women's lifestyle spaces. She's passionate about spreading cultural sensitivity through the lenses of lifestyle, entertainment, and style.

Share: