Romantasy Book Boyfriends Have Really, Really Raised the Bar

Get the Full StoryOnce upon a time, receiving a simple "good morning" text from a man was enough of a reason to go out with him. But now, thanks to the rise of romantasy, the book genre blending themes of romance and fantasy, dating standards have changed.

As more and more women read romantasy novels like "Onyx Storm" and "A Court of Thorns and Roses," they're falling in love with the male protagonists. And these men aren't just broodingly handsome - they're emotionally intelligent, they slay dragons, they cross realms for love, and they effortlessly provide orgasms. Some men in the real world, though? Still learning what a clitoris is.

"These men have definitely raised my standards," Taylor Weir, 29, says. A romantasy reader, Weir says her favorite fictional men put their partner before anyone else. "I love to see men yearn for women because it shows vulnerability, emotional depth, and confidence in their masculinity," which are lacking in her real-life interactions with men, she adds.

For Alyssa Wehr, 28, her love for fictional men like Xaden Riorson from "Fourth Wing" and Cassian from "A Court of Thorns and Roses" has also made her less interested in dating. "A lot of fictional men are emotionally intelligent and able to effectively communicate, and while I know it's possible for a guy in real life to also be those things, it feels like they have to go through a whole journey to get there," she says. "I'm too impatient for that."

Although romantasy may have originated as a form of escapism, the genre has quickly morphed into something far more powerful. These novels aren't just a form of entertainment anymore - they've become a guide for how women deserve to be treated.

"Wanting to have a man who listens, has some degree of emotional intelligence, and cares for his partner is not having too high of expectations."

Elodie Colliard, author of "Unbearably Yours It's Always Been You ," says that when she writes romance novels, there are some basic principles her male fictional characters have to embody. "They should be understanding, attentive, and communicative," she says. Even as a reader of the genre, she says she wants to read about a man who is "all in" and knows everything about his love interest, including "all the things she never thought he'd notice."

It's worth noting many of these male characters are written by women authors for the female gaze. But for those who may argue romantasy has raised the bar too high for men, Colliard disagrees. "Wanting to have a man who listens, has some degree of emotional intelligence, and cares for his partner is not having too high of expectations," she says. "It's meeting your partner's basic needs."

The best romantasy fictional male characters aren't perfect. However, they're consistent, they show up when they say they will, and they make their partners a priority. In a world where dating apps feel impossible, ghosting is common, and miscommunication is the norm, it's no surprise these fictional men are more desirable.

Though Colliard is in a healthy relationship, if she had to choose to date again today, she wouldn't. "I'd choose to spend my evening with my favorite fictional man than go for a drink with a guy I don't know," she says. With shadow daddies like Xaden, Rhysand, and Cassian, I don't blame her. Will men in real life be able to compete? Perhaps they should start taking notes.

Related:

23 Enemies-to-Lovers Books That Turn Rivalry to Romance

Taylor Andrews she her is the balance editor at PS, specializing in topics relating to sex, relationships, dating, sexual health, mental health, travel, and more. With seven years of editorial experience, Taylor has a strong background in content creation and storytelling. Prior to joining PS in 2021, she worked at Cosmopolitan.

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